There I was in the snow, on my knees, yelling and cursing at God! Crying because of the pain and loneliness I kept inside for so long, wishing that God would just drop me dead! I was so hurt, tired, and weak, I just wanted this all to be over! I was so beaten by the world.

After hours of utter shameful crying and yelling, I Came inside, my sister, seeing my face, followed me into my room. She grabbed me and just held me, she didn’t say much, just held me. My tears… All my dirt, that I had kept so deep inside of me for so long, rolled unto her shirt. All she did was hold me in her arms.

That day was one of the darkest moments of my life. Yet, through those tears It showed me something bigger than myself.

Through that day, I started to Imagine the tears of the prostitutes, the homeless, the drug addicts, the abandoned, the millions stolen from their homes, the ones that nobody cares about, the cutters, the suicidal, the broken, the needy, the runaways, the dying. Where do their tears fall? They probably drip lonely to the cold floor. The only people who hear there sobs is a pimp, abuser, or the emptiness of the room. Who will care about them? Who will fight for them? Why are people so afraid of getting their shirts dirty?

These past few days I have yelled and cussed at God because of my own loneliness, pain, and regrets. I asked God to send me to hell! I have told Him that I am the biggest disgrace of them all! But of course God showed me something different. He showed me Jesus in the garden of Gathsemene. Alone, forsaken, abandoned. I am right their with Jesus. My tears fall on His cloak. What if the only way to show somebody hope is by letting the tears, blood, and dirt fall on your shirt. Just like Jesus. Even if you get nothing in return, agape love, truly is unconditional. Unspoken love can be one of the most powerful ways of displaying hope! You will never know how many lives you are saving!

So live each day to help the broken, the needy, the lost, the forgotten. Whether it’s your neighbor, roommate, brother, sister, mother, father, show them love and purpose because you never know what hurt they have experienced. You never know when the tears on your shirt was suicide, murder, rape, divorce, fear, abuse, shameful sex, drugs, loneliness, cancer, hopelessness. You never know how many lives that you have saved by the hidden tears soaked into your dirt soaked shirt.

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