About a year ago, I was leading a bible study with college and high school students. One week, a girl, about 18 years old showed up, with a friend. This girl was outgoing and beautiful. However, her smile seemed to cover up the sadness inside. The first few weeks, every day, her friend forced her out of bed to do anything social because of her depression. Each week she came to the bible study, she did nothing but sob from the mistakes of her past. This girl had reached her lowest point in life.
This story seems hopeless like so many other girls and guys in the world. Yet, this is the beginning of the story, not the end. A couple months later, she asked to go to coffee with me.
I remember that fall Colorado day very vividly. After a bit of small talk, she revealed the reason why she wanted to meet. “My Dad wasn’t the Dad he should have been, really ever,” She began, “and I sought out the love of a man through boys. I was always hungry for attention; I didn’t care how I got it but I wanted attention from anyone and everyone around me. Especially boys. I always cheated and ended relationships because I have a deep fear of commitment.”
As the tears began to stream down her face, she told me about her pregnancy and miscarriage at age 15. With tears in her eyes, she explained how she can barely stand to look at a child with their mother because she blames the death of her child on her sins.
When I first met this girl, I began asking myself the question, WHAT IS LOVE? I always thought I knew. I mean, love is in relationships, marriages, churches, homeless shelters, whatever, right? But meeting this girl made me ask myself what is real love? Because this girl has never experienced it with boys, her father, everything. How do I and so many others miss love!
It’s funny, as I searched for the answer, I found that this girl, who had been broken by men, herself, and her family, had the definition of love hidden in her heart.
As the sun began to rise into the sky, she continued, “When I was 18, I began drinking away the weekends and being sexual with this boy, who I came to find out was into some pretty hard core drugs. At some point I decided to try and break his drug habits. And through this pursuit I dropped out of school. My whole family and all of my friends begged me not to date this boy and I did not listen- as I don’t typically trust anyone and I’m far too stubborn to really listen to other people. After dropping out and feeling like I was a worthless piece of crap, who would go nowhere in life, I had a pregnancy scare. This was one of the scariest things for me because of my miscarriage a couple years past.”
She shared about how she came to move from Georgia to Colorado because of her family making her get away from her social scene.
After hearing this heartbreaking story and watching a young women unveil the secrets of her life, I was comforted by the genuine smile that came over her face as she continued, “After getting prayer from your bible study last week, that very next day I remember waking up and the world just seemed like a new place… I was finally letting God love me that day and that was the difference. I know in my heart, deep deep in my heart, that God LOVES me. He forgives me for every single thing I have done in my past. He always loved me, he never stopped holding my hand, he never stopped looking at me as his little girl, he never stopped. His love never stops no matter what you do or where you’ve been. When I finally started recognizing Gods love I just blossomed into the person I always wanted to be and the person God always knew I would be. I have a relationship with my Dad now and I’ve mended a lot of my past relationships. I feel like now that I’m walking in the light I have a meaning and a purpose greater than anything I could even imagine. I don’t carry all of this baggage from my past anymore because I gave it to God and he forgives me as far as the east is from the west. He is mine and I am His. Nothing will ever stop the love of God, we just have to recognize it ourselves. He always loved me I just wouldn’t allow myself to embrace that. I have never felt so much love and joy as I do now. It’s awesome.”
With marriages failing, kids on the street, love is nothing more than conditional.
What is love?
50% of all marriages end in divorce. IS THAT LOVE?
“Suicide is one of the top ten reasons for death in the U.S.” IS THAT LOVE?
“37,000 homeless people die each year.” IS THAT LOVE?
“Every 2 seconds someone is sexually assaulted.” IS THAT LOVE?
What is love?
True love is unconditional and humble.
True love is someone who loves you and will not leave you.
True love is does not control you physically or emotionally.
True love is someone who loves you unconditionally.
True love will tell you that you’re beautiful, you’re talented, you’re precious.
True Love is only found, in and through Jesus Christ!
Doherty, D. W. (n.d.). How common is divorce and what are the reasons?. divorce.usu. Retrieved October 12, 2013, from http://www.divorce.usu.edu/files/uploads/Lesson3.pdf
Samad, J., & Images, A. (n.d.). Homelessness in suburbs, rural areas increases – USATODAY.com. USA TODAY: Latest World and US News – USATODAY.com. Retrieved October 12, 2013, from http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-07-09-homeless_N.htm
Statistics | RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. (n.d.). RAINN | Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network | RAINN: The nation’s largest anti-sexual assault organization.One of “America’s 100 Best Charities” —Worth magazine. Retrieved October 12, 2013, from http://www.rainn.org/statistics
Suicide in the U.S.: Statistics and Prevention. (n.d.). http://www.nimh.nih.gov. Retrieved October 11, 2013, from http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/suicide-in-the-us-statistics-and-prevention/index.shtml
nature, i. v. (n.d.). National Coalition for the Homeless. National Coalition for the Homeless. Retrieved October 12, 2013, from http://www.nationalhomeless.org/factsheets/How_Many.html
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