Posts Tagged ‘abuse’

There I was in the snow, on my knees, yelling and cursing at God! Crying because of the pain and loneliness I kept inside for so long, wishing that God would just drop me dead! I was so hurt, tired, and weak, I just wanted this all to be over! I was so beaten by the world.

After hours of utter shameful crying and yelling, I Came inside, my sister, seeing my face, followed me into my room. She grabbed me and just held me, she didn’t say much, just held me. My tears… All my dirt, that I had kept so deep inside of me for so long, rolled unto her shirt. All she did was hold me in her arms.

That day was one of the darkest moments of my life. Yet, through those tears It showed me something bigger than myself.

Through that day, I started to Imagine the tears of the prostitutes, the homeless, the drug addicts, the abandoned, the millions stolen from their homes, the ones that nobody cares about, the cutters, the suicidal, the broken, the needy, the runaways, the dying. Where do their tears fall? They probably drip lonely to the cold floor. The only people who hear there sobs is a pimp, abuser, or the emptiness of the room. Who will care about them? Who will fight for them? Why are people so afraid of getting their shirts dirty?

These past few days I have yelled and cussed at God because of my own loneliness, pain, and regrets. I asked God to send me to hell! I have told Him that I am the biggest disgrace of them all! But of course God showed me something different. He showed me Jesus in the garden of Gathsemene. Alone, forsaken, abandoned. I am right their with Jesus. My tears fall on His cloak. What if the only way to show somebody hope is by letting the tears, blood, and dirt fall on your shirt. Just like Jesus. Even if you get nothing in return, agape love, truly is unconditional. Unspoken love can be one of the most powerful ways of displaying hope! You will never know how many lives you are saving!

So live each day to help the broken, the needy, the lost, the forgotten. Whether it’s your neighbor, roommate, brother, sister, mother, father, show them love and purpose because you never know what hurt they have experienced. You never know when the tears on your shirt was suicide, murder, rape, divorce, fear, abuse, shameful sex, drugs, loneliness, cancer, hopelessness. You never know how many lives that you have saved by the hidden tears soaked into your dirt soaked shirt.

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Great paper written by Dr. William H. Doherty. Feel free to hit the link and read the rest of the paper.

How common is divorce and what are the reasons?
Marriage is a counter-cultural act in a throwaway society.
—Dr. William H. Doherty, noted marriage scholar and therapist 55

Overview: In the United States, researchers estimate that 40%–50% of all first marriages, and 60% of second marriages, will end in divorce. There are some well known factors that put people at higher risk for divorce: marrying at a very early age, less education and income, living together before marriage, a premarital pregnancy,
no religious affiliation, coming from a divorced family, and feelings of insecurity. The most common reasons people give for their divorce are lack of commitment, too much arguing, infidelity, marrying too young, unrealistic expectations, lack of equality in
the relationship, lack of preparation for marriage, and abuse. Some of these problems can be fixed and divorce prevented. Commitment is having a long-term view of the marriage that helps us not get overwhelmed by the problems and challenges day to day. When there is high commitment in a relationship, we feel safer and are willing to give more for the relationship to succeed. Commitment is clearly a factor in why some couples stay together and others divorce. Divorce is necessary at times, and it may even help to preserve the moral boundaries of marriage. But parents have a responsibility to do all that they reasonably can to preserve and repair a marriage, especially when the reasons for divorce are not the most serious ones. Barriers to leaving a marriage, such as financial worries, can keep marriages together in the short run. However, unless there is improvement in the relationship, eventually the barriers are usually not enough to keep a marriage together in the long run.

http://www.divorce.usu.edu/files/uploads/Lesson3.pdf

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I have been thinking about writing this for a long time but never had the time until now.

What is love?
1 in 4 women are sexually abused.
Every 2 minutes someone is sexually assaulted.
What is love?

7% of girls in middle school say they have been sexually abused.
12% of girls in high school say they have been sexually abused.
What is love?

If 1 in 4 women being sexually abused is considered love, then love is dark and sick. Love should just be considered a man dripping with lust, sneaking, manipulating, and attacking, innocent young women. If that is love, I want no part of it.

Statistics say 97% of people have sex before they get married.
50% of marriages end in divorce.
What is love?

In the year 2013 their is an estimated 1,671,257,652 pornography searches on the internet.
97 Billion dollars of revenue is collected each year for pornography.
What is love?

If this was law I could beg the theory that love is represented by sex. That is all men and women want. If almost everybody is looking for love and 97% have found it in sex, then that must be the key to love and happiness. However, divorce is running rampant. If a male or a female, can’t wait to have sex with you until marriage, what makes him or her have the self control to have sex with someone else. What is love?

Love is looking more and more like unhappiness, failed marriages, abuse, and rape. Our culture idolizes love so much, we worship artists and celebrities like Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Kim Kardashian, only because they take their clothes off. What is love?

What is love?
Love is a pure love. An unconditional love. A steadfast love. A caring love. One that cherishes her heart first, above all else. One that will not take advantage of her, one that will protect her, one that will fight for her, stay up late talking with her. Not one who manipulates her, not one who makes her fear for their relationship, and not one who leaves her. That is love!
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http://www.familysafemedia.com/pornography_statistics.html
http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats/
http://www.trustmattersmost.com/news/divorce-rates-in-2013-a-look-forward-and-a-look-back/
http://waitingtillmarriage.org/4-cool-statistics-about-abstinence-in-the-usa/
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
http://www.oneinfourusa.org/statistics.php

http://www.kptm.com/story/17802759/human-trafficking-exists-in-nebraska

Nicole Ebat

OMAHA(KPTM)–There are at least two thousand people in Nebraska who are forced to work as prostitutes. That’s according to research from the University of Nebraska at Lincoln.

Lawmakers say one of the biggest obstacles in helping these people is that the public doesn’t know–or believe–that people are sold for sex. Many have a hard time believing it happens right at home in Nebraska.

But one woman knows all too well that it doesn’t happen–and that it can happen anywhere.

Long, mottled scars running from her inner thigh down her leg are the only physical marks left you can see. Jane* was raped, beaten and threatened with her life every day in the west African country she was born in.

So when a man offered her romance, marriage and a better life in America, she went with him.

“He told me he was going to marry me. When he married me, I would become a better person,” she said. “He told me that ‘if you stay in this country they are going to catch you, they will find you so I am going to help you. Then I said ‘ok, I’m happy'”

The man, known to Jane as Mike, smuggled her out of Africa, but once the plane landed on American soil:

“When we came in he totally changed. These men would come sleep with me. I didn’t know how to speak the English. I would just say why why why? They would say shhh… you know? They do that then they go. It’s so shameful,” she explained.

The man kept her locked in a basement, away from the outside world. He told her police would take her back to her country where she would be killed if she ever left.

She has no idea how long she was in captivity. She doesn’t know how many men there were. She didn’t even know she was doing it for money.

“You don’t know somebody. That person will come, different different people will come have sex with you. That is bad. I didn’t want it. I would have rather died in my country than have somebody else have sex with me when I’m not ready and I don’t even know you. Not him alone that brought me, but somebody else I don’t know. More than one, two or three. I was going to kill me if I [had] any way to kill myself at that time when I was with him I would have done it,” she said stoically.

Jane’s story is just one of what could be hundreds of thousands across the country.

The experts have a hard time putting an exact number on how many victims like Jane could be out there.

“The thing about people who are traffickers, the predators, they are very adept at psychological mind games,” said Linda Burkle with the Salvation Army’s Wellspring Program which helps victims of human trafficking. “Most of the young ladies I have worked with that were trafficked did not see themselves as being trafficked. This was their boyfriend, this was the love of their life. They would do anything for him,”

Some studies suggest there are at least 200,000 minors alone being trafficked in the United States.

Lawmakers say it’s difficult to know for certain partially because many police don’t know how to separate a victim from someone in prostitution willingly.

“In many cases the woman feels so vulnerable and feels so afraid she doesn’t go and rat out the man in charge, she’s afraid he’s gonna beat her up or that’s the person who feeds her,” said Nebraska State Senator Amanda McGill.

She’s been working tirelessly to pass legislation to help with the problem.

She introduced and helped pass a bill that ups the prison sentence to maximum of 20 years. Before, a person convicted of pandering–coercing or forcing a person into prostitution–would only face a maximum of five years behind bars.

The bill calls for a task force to study trafficking in Nebraska and adds training for law enforcement and lawyers to teach them to separate prostitutes and victims.

The Polaris Project helped with the bill. It is a national organization working to end modern day slavery. It rates each state based on the type of legislation and services available to trafficking victims.

Nebraska currently sits at the second to worst rating.

“Nebraska has a good start, but there’s still room for improvement,” said Mary Ellison, policy director for the organization.

It’s too early to know how the new legislation could help improve Nebraska’s rating, but a high turnout at recent trafficking awareness events is a good sign.

“The number of people from the community that are interested in this issue is really stunning,” said Ellison.

State Senator Mcgill’s next goal is to help provide services to help victims in the state start a new life.

“It doesn’t do any good to identify the victims if they don’t have a safe place to stay,” she said. “There are a lot of barriers to good treatment right now,”

Bills adding services have been passed several times, but the Governor vetoed funding for the services several years in a row.

“I think part of the reason he was able to veto that money and not get it is that people don’t understand the vulnerability of these women and how widespread it is. It’s not just a North Omaha or South Omaha problem. It’s not even just an Omaha problem. It happens everywhere,” she said.

Burkle says the I-80 corridor is a prime area for trafficking.

“Anywhere there’s a major highway with truck stops next to it,” she said, especially near truck and rest stops.

Jane managed to escape her captor by tricking him into taking her to a friend’s house. She told him she had “pretty, skinny, tiny” friends inside.

It’s been five years since she last saw the man who forced her into sex slavery. The FBI has never found any leads on who he might be.

“I’m really really really really scared. I am so so so scared. I am scared. That’s why if I am walking somewhere, I don’t like to pass places where people don’t see,” she said. “My eyes are always passing, maybe I will see him. If I see him, I will know him. If he sees me, he will know me. (Laughs) even though I am fat now,”

Today she is working on her education. She is nearly finished with her GED and hopes to go on to college. Until then, she says she feels a sense of freedom knowing she can speak and read English.

“So nobody will fool us again, illiteracy is the one that made me suffer,”

She’s just hoping someone out there takes away something from her story.

“Forcing women to do something out of their wish–that is a killing. There is no difference with killing them. It is the same,”

The University of Nebraska Lincoln has done some extensive research into human trafficking. If you’d like to learn more a conference has been set for the weekend of October 11, 2012.

If you or somebody you know is trapped in a human trafficking situation, call the nation hotline at 1-888-373-7888